Книги, похожие на «Cooke Edmund Vance, Impertinent Poems»

488 Rules for Life is Kitty Flanagan's way of making the world a more pleasant place to live. Providing you with the antidote to every annoying little thing, these rules are not made to be broken. 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help, it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, a lot of people just don't know the rules. But thanks to Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behaviour, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it … where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and don't reheat their fish curry in the office microwave … where middle aged men don't have ponytails … Other rules to live by include: 1. Men must wear shorts over leggingsThe gym is no place for people to discover whether or not you are circumcised. That’s a private discussion for another place and time. 2. Team bonding activities should be optionalSome people love it when management decides that an afternoon of bowling or paintballing or (god forbid) karaoke will help everyone work better as a team. Others would rather be dead. 3. Don’t ever mention your ‘happy place’To me, this sounds less like a pleasant, fun state of mind and more like some kind of utopian wank palace you’ve had built in the basement. What started as a personal joke is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating. ) What people are (Kitty Flanagan is) saying about this book: 'You're welcome everyone. ' 'Thank god for me. ' 'I'd rather be sad and lonely, but right. ' 'There's not actually 488 rules in here but it sure feels like it'.

A hilarious guide to dissing the dicks in your life.After years of meeting and putting up with crap people, a serious illness left Eileen Condon with plenty of time to ask herself why she ever put up with them. Her recovery was aided by countless hours spent in pubs with friend Amanda Edwards where they purged their bile about all the bullies, bitches and bastards that they have encountered.Bullies Bitches and Bastards is the result of their cathartic trawl through a rogues' gallery of crap boyfriends, girlfriends, bosses, family members, neighbours and work colleagues – people whose characteristics read like a thesaurus of cunning: sly, Machiavellian, gerrymandering, duplicitous, crafty, vulpine bastards.There's The Enormous Baby Boyfriend. He thinks you're his mummy. You have to cater to his every whim and pay him round-the-clock attention. Or he'll cry, throw a tantrum and vomit – all over you! Ta-da!Or, how about Beelzeboss? Marvel at the amount of energy they put into bitching and backstabbing. If they worked as hard at their actual job, they'd be Bill Gates. Particularly deft at wheedling out your Achilles heel and using it against you at every opportunity.Have you met Miss-Fortune Teller? She delights in your disasters. Don't be fooled by the sympathetic ear on the end of the phone, she's biting her knuckles with glee, barely able to contain her excitement at the good news that you're having such a bad time.Divided into a number of sections including partners, friends, bosses and colleagues this book will appeal to early mid-life, disaffected, disillusioned, burnt-out 30/40-somethings who have met these grotesques at some point in their lives. They, like the authors, want to see them pinned, slit open and dissected like a frog in a school lab.

’People say women can't be funny. WRONG… I love Reductress.’-Sam Bain, co-creator of Peep ShowThe definitive manual on how to be the best feminist you can be—as told by a hilariously misguided yet well-meaning women’s magazine. From the creators of the wildly popular satirical website, Reductress.From hot feminist sex to a trendy feminist up-do, the bold and brilliant minds behind Reductress reveal the secrets to being super progressive—and cool, hip, and pretty. Feminism today means demanding gender equality—and a fabulous manicure. After all, we’re not wearing girdles and cleaning the house anymore. We’re wearing Spanx and hiring a cleaning lady. That’s feminism!How to Win at Feminism defines what’s feminist and what isn’t, shows you how to take up space (but not too much space), identifies which clothes and products to be offended by, and offers funny insight, knowledge, tips, and advice every fourth-wave feminist needs, including:• How to Love Your Body Even Though Hers is Better• The 9 Circles of Hell for Women Who Don’t Help Other Women• Designer Handbags to Hold All Your Feminism• How to Apologize for Having it All• Finding Your Spirit Feminist• Rebranding Your Relationship Issues as Feminist IssuesWith this ultimate guide—complete with four-color illustrations—you can femsplain feminism to basic friends, and learn how to battle the patriarchy while maintaining a dependable moisturizing routine. We may have come a long way, baby, but we have a long way to go. How to Win at Feminism is the road map to get there!’Reductress has discovered a rich, deep seam of comedy.’-Graham Linehan, creator of Father Ted, Black Books and The IT Crowd