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Family begins with a capital eff.I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All ‘just phases!’ When do the ‘phases’ end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
The essential read for Spring – the story of a remarkable woman who discovers that her success, prestige and wealth cannot help when tragedy strikes.At forty-seven, Stephanie Jardine is at the apex of her career and her life, running the American branch of Jardine’s, the prestigious Crown Jewellers of London. Having fully come to terms with her long widowhood, Stevie now draws emotional strength and contentment from her work and her family. Then, one day, an unexpected act of violence committed by a stranger on the other side of the world plunges Stevie into turmoil and despair.In order to save her injured daughter’s life and ensure her future, Stevie must go back to her own past and confront a relationship which has only ever brought her heartbreak. As she battles to save her daughter, Stevie comes to understand how fragile life really is, and how it can be ineluctably changed by others when we least expect it.
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