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Fresh, flirty and stylish – sexy stories for the modern woman who loves to live life to the full!Faking it – as a princess!Unceremoniously dumped by her posh fiancé, Caro Cartwright’s decided that when it comes to life (and men) – ordinary is good. Until an old friend begs her to stage a gossip-worthy royal diversion! Reluctantly, Caro packs her shamefully non-designer bags and prepares to masquerade as a European prince’s latest squeeze…Used to pampered princesses, Philippe doubts Caro’s ability to look the part, but soon her warmth and humour – and the odd fashion faux pas – are toppling hearts like dominoes! Meanwhile Caro’s uncomfortably aware that their play-acting is increasingly convincing.It’s a tempting fantasy – after all, Philippe is gorgeous – but in the real world ordinary girls don’t become princesses – do they?
Family begins with a capital eff.I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All ‘just phases!’ When do the ‘phases’ end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
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